This is something I wrote to myself back when 2012 had just started. I think the Holy Spirit was trying to “wake me up”… But it wasn’t my time yet. It’s a bit personal, but I’ve shot down those walls 2 weeks ago. 🙂
“Dear Old Katie,
It’s not your fault your father did the mistakes that he did, so forgive him, don’t hold a grudge on him for 18 1/2 years. It’s not worth it. Love him as God would have you love him, even though he lied to you. No one is perfect, neither are you. Dear old Katie, as you go through elementary school, be careful who you choose as your “friends”. Be yourself, stop trying to fit in. You are amazing as you are, you don’t need to change at all. God loves you, your family loves you, your real friends love you, people you don’t know love you, (your teachers and mentors). Always grow to be a better person. Dear old Katie, as you go through middle school, once again, be careful who you call friend, be yourself, stop trying to fit in. You are amazing as you are. Ignore those who make fun of you; forgive them and love them as God would have you love them. Try harder in school, study and be the best you can be. And for goodness sake, stay out of trouble and keep watchful eye of your current best friend! Don’t fall in to worldly traps and be careful who you burn bridges with and those that you trust. Put all your trust in God. Dear old Katie, as you go through high school, you will be tempted to give up, meet some of your real and life long friends, and you will meet the one for you. The one you will marry.. But you will have to go through a lot of hard times, tribulations and drama with this man. I promise you baby girl, it will be so worth it in the end. Keep your head up, don’t quit high school. Study, study, study and get good grades. Pay attention and do the best you can in all of your classes. Don’t do anything you will regret, do not over react, remember to think before you speak. In late 2008, you will meet a guy offline, you will be single. Avoid this boy like the plague! He will only hurt and damage you emotionally, spiritually and physically… Almost to the point of death. But pray and forgive him and love him as God tells you to. Do NOT ignore God’s signs with this boy! In 2010, you will go through a lot, (2008-2010 will be your roughest years, SEEK GOD in this time and be careful what you do and say. Get rid of that one, two toxic people in your life)….. You’ll lose some people that are closest to you, both from God’s calling them home and by your actions. You will learn at the end of the year that everything happens for a reason. You will do some very dumb SH*T, that will p*ss you and a lot of people off in these years. FORGIVE YOURSELF!
2011 will be a much better year and will be the year you will start to get closer to God, be filled with blessings and new beginnings with everything. You will go through a lot of good change, EMBRACE IT! Be yourself at all times. This will be your best year, and more to come. You will have met and have all the real friends you need in your life. Be patient and stay humble. Do not let pride be your fall. You will meet some flukes, be kind to them, but keep your distance. Love them as God has loved you and told you to. This will be the start of a wonderful beginning with your soulmate, still continue to be yourself, always change for the better and continue working and improving your flaws.
2012 has just began, you and your sweetheart are going to have a major breakthrough this year, for the better and your future. Stay strong. Lift him up and those around you, inspire him and everyone around you. Be the encouragement, motivation and inspiration need to see through God’s love. Continue your walk in getting closer to God. Be yourself and take major chances and keep making changes for the better.
Remember God always loves and forgives you. Even when you don’t.”
Wow! Especially that last part about 2012. Major breakthrough in and throughout my life! So so deep.
Here’s another one I wrote, a few months later after this one. Thought I’d share it, too, with you guys.
“So things have been a little crazy lately. Thoughts running through my mind that I don’t even know if they are true. In relationships, I try to trust until the one I am with tells me themselves.
Trying to remain patient, even though I don’t know what’s going on or what the outcome will be. Even though I have negative thoughts running through my mind and my mind is constantly racing and my heart is occasionally hurting and it’s stressing me out. I still look to God and have faith that He knows what’s best for me and push forward, even though I don’t understand why certain stuff happens.
Yeah I am a little frustrated with him and I was close to giving up. That’s not me, I’m not a quitter. That’s just who he is and I have to accept that. Me and him are opposites when it comes to this. I just gotta support him and be there for him. Even though it may sometimes frustrate me or make me angry or not understand. Because if I were in his shoes, I would want him to accept me for who I am, be there for me no matter what and support whatever decisions and dreams that I may have. I would want him to understand and accept me for who I am. So I should be willing to do the same.
Look for the lessons and opportunities in this phase.
But ask yourself this question and really think about the answer: Why were you REALLY so quick to almost give up on him?”
That’s all I have for right now. I just wanted to share some of the writings I wrote to express my feelings back then. The appropriate people that I have written about in this blog will see this and I hope it opens their hearts and minds to a private part of my life and feelings.
The people I have written about in here are no longer in my lives and have since been gone since 2010. The guy I talk about though, he is still my best friend to this day.
God bless you all and love you all!
❤ Dancing Dreamss.